Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize