Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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