Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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