when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Boobs speak an international language.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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