My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
