Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize