Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
