Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
