Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
