I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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