So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
