He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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