Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
