I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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