god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize