You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
