well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My vagina just clenched in fear
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
