Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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