R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize