i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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