This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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