All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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