Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
