Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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