am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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