butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
did you just send me my own nude
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
