she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
