It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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