wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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