Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
