i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
