I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
