dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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