just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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