what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you didnt know i had herpes?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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