On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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