You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
