She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
