So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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