I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
