you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
