How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
