Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
