my phone needs a breathalizer
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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