exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
