in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
