yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
