we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
not ubering you a puppy
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize