based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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