Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
