Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
