Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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