Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize