Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
