I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
