We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
