you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
