dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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