The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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