your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
