that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
